Goodbye

This will be my last blog post ever, just like the tweet I write linking you to this post will be my last tweet ever. I will miss all the amazing people I met, but I just can’t do this anymore.

Some of you may not like what I am going to say, and I really don’t care. So here it goes…

I am sick of being told that every decision I have made as a mother is wrong. I am sick of being glued to twitter and not to my son, I know that I am the one who picks up my phone to read twitter, but I want to change that and this is how I am doing it. I’m sick of no one answering my questions or giving me hugs when I’m feeling blue, it seems like you have to be “popular” to get that treatment. It’s like high school all over again, and I hated high school.

I have been trying so hard to get people to talk to me, I tweet you back I answer your questions (the ones I know) I even started not being me! I don’t even think I know who I am anymore. I stopped hanging out with my IRL friends and put my family on the back burner, and for what? To please a bunch of people that I don’t even know! I bet you can’t tell me what my favorite colour is, or my favorite show. Why would I make my family and IRL friends go through what they have just to please a bunch of people that may or may not care about me? I don’t know, but I do know that my family and IRL friends care about me or they would have just gave up on me by now.

I hope you all understand and please don’t take what I said personally, this post is about twitter in general and not one person.

If you still want to keep up with me and my handsome little dude, then you can find me on Facebook. If not then it was nice chatting with you.

Bye!

Help Me Decorate…please?

I know I could just google this, but this way seemed more fun!!

So most of you know that we just moved from our tiny apartment to a bigger 4-plex because of some pest issues (bed bugs! eww). It’s great, so far it’s bug free and we hope on keeping it that way, it’s bigger, there’s a field right across the street and it’s not too far from the malls, but there is one tiny issue, I don’t know how to decorate. Seriously. I have no clue where to start or what to do.

So I am asking you, all my wonderfully awesome and very talented friends, for help. I need to know everything!! So please could you give me some tips and advice on where to buy cheap decorations and how arrange the pictures in the walls, that sort of stuff.

Oh and we can’t paint or anything since it’s a rental place, and we can’t really screw anything into the walls either. Thanks in advance for all the help!

Tags: Decorate, Help

Wordless Wednesday

The Spaghetti Monster (sorry about the photos, they were taken with my iPhone)

Tags: Caleb, wordless wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Caleb’s first time eating broccoli.

Tags: Caleb, wordless wednesday

Something I’ve Never Said

At the time I was nervous, excited and oh so very anxious to finally meet our son, but now that I look back and think about my experience, I wish it would have been different. I know you can’t change the past, so why dwell on it? I need to get this off my chest (one of the reasons I wanted to start this blog)

It was Dec. 2nd and it was 3am, time for my early morning bathroom trip. This time I woke up leaking, I thought my water broke. I woke up Steven and told him we had to go but I wanted to shower first. He made sure we packed everything and took it down to the car. By the time we made it to the hospital I was having contractions every 15 minutes and wasn’t dilated…

I wasn’t dilated! I was scheduled for an induction the next day, but the nurse said since they weren’t busy and if my doctor approved, we could do it today. Of course I jumped on the opportunity, I was 9 days over my EDD and I was D-O-N-E done! We waited until 9am when the doc finally showed up. By then I was having contractions every 5 min and I was dilated 3cm. I did that all on my own I was proud of myself!

They decided to skip the cervidil and just hook me up to some Syntocin and my antibiotics for the GBS. It took them 3 agonizing tries to get the IV in. I waited another hour having contractions every 2-3 min, painful, but I just kept breathing like they taught me in class. They checked and I was a 4, I asked for the epidural and by 12:30 I was ready to nap.

DH went to get something to eat while rested. The whole hour I slept I could here the nurses come in and out and all the hustle of the rest of the unit. Not very relaxing. They checked me at 1:30 when Steven got back and I was almost 6cm. This is when people started to show up. I talked and entertained them the best I could, but then at 2:30pm I felt pressure, at first I just thought the epidural was wearing off. After about 20min of pressure they asked to check me again everyone left the room, they checked, I was 10cm! Oh and btw my water didn’t break it was just mucus. The doctor came and broke my water then left, I pushed for 30min, the doctor walked in and delivered Caleb, he cut the cord and gave him to me.

The doctor that delivered Caleb wasn’t our family doctor, he was on vacation. I love our dotor!

That’s pretty much my birth story. Now the thing I wish was different.

I wish I would have stayed home longer.

It seems like no big deal, right? It is to me, and I don’t know why. It just hurts when I read other birth stories or follow a birth on twitter and they relax at home. I feel like I rushed, that I was to anxious I rushed and not just me I feel like I rushed Caleb too. Maybe he wasn’t ready, if I stayed home would he gave been born on the 3rd or 4th? All these what ifs? I know I can’t change this now, but I do know better for next time, I’m more prepared!

It feels good to get this off my chest

Tags: birth, Caleb, Desiree, labour, Steven